Friday, October 5, 2012

Drowning?

Assalamualaikum

It's been a long time I haven't wrote my blog properly. If update pun, an effortless entry je.hue3..(*macam la ada orang nak baca). Well, I don't plan to update pun, but entahlah tiba2 sign in and here I am..hmm.too many things to be shared. So how should I start?



"If you are facing BIG tests in your life, it just means you will have a BIG destiny"

I really love to think and talk about the future. I have planned so many thing things to do in my life.Yeah.ada some of them yang macam impossible je pulak but I put TRUST on Him. When Allah wants something to happen, it will happen.No matter what.No matter where.No matter when.No matter in any situation you are.

Being a grown up teenager, too many things I have learn from my experience and from the people surround me. And thru them, I learn all the do's and dont's..Melalui orang2 yang soleh solehah yang Allah 'hadirkan' dalam hidup ni, I learn to be His servant. Melalui orang2 yang 'kurang baik', I learn to not to do what He has forbidden. 

But sometimes, there was a moment when I feel like down and frustrated yang kalau orang psycho sikit je dah mula dah keluar air mencurah-curah ke ladang gandum. The moment bila call dengar suara abah mama je pun dah boleh menangis keluar hingus tak hengat dunia. The moment when I really wanna talk and share with somebody but I have nobody to talk to and to rely on. yeah.that awful moment.

However, through those tough moment lah I learn how to build up my strength and that's what we call as life. Nak taknak, we have to go through some sad and sorrow moment. Happy all the time tu tak challenge lah kan. Monotonous je dull and boringg you know..hehe

In my humble opinion, sometimes, to be in a not-so-okay mood is better sebab waktu itu lah kita akan rasa kita rapat dengan Dia. You will start buat tahajud, dhuha, rajin baca Quran bla bla. Time tu even baca Bismillah or sebut Allahuakbar je pun, dah mula mata berkaca..tekak tersedu2..kenapa?sebab time itu lah kita rasa betapa kecil and kerdil nya diri kita. Yang sangat lemah dan tak punya apa-apa. Yang memang tanpa rahmat dan kasih sayang Allah, kita rasa tak tentu arah.



And through all those challenges we will learn to build our strength and soul. Bila kita berpura-pura menjadi kuat takde siapa nampak air mata kita yang tersembunyi melainkan Allah. Menyenangkan hati manusia itu susah tapi menyenangkan Allah itu adalah paling mudah. Manusia mungkin menghukum kesalahan yang kita lakukan, tetapi Allah tak pernah mengabaikan dan siap mengampunkan lagi kesalahan kita. 

Allah's love is everywhere..Can you feel that? How sweeet :')

Life is a bless.simple words but yet huge meaning hidden behind it. It will not forever filled with joyful and happiness. Thus, if you feel like 'drowning', keep ur head up and keep ur heart strong. Have 300% faith in Him..

Thursday, September 20, 2012

A story from Sheikh Navaid Aziz :)

Syeikh Navaid Aziz told a story, there was a man. He is from Africa, a muslim. It took years and years for him to get married because of racism and stuff. He finally got married to someone he really loves and she is about to deliver their first child.....

Then, Allah took the life of his wife and the baby.

It was unimaginable and unthinkable to even think how he was feeling during that moment,
but guess what? A wife and child is a test from Allah. Allah can take it anytime He wants.

Allah wants to make sure that he is not loving his wife and his child more than loving Allah himself. This is a litmus test for everyone who wants to get married. 


Then ask ourselves, do we want to get married for the sake of ourselves (with the main goal of satisfying desire) or do we want to get married so that we can become closer to Allah and love Allah more?


Some people Allah make them get married early, some people Allah make them get married late or single forever. It does not matter what the situation is as long as the marriage should be able to boost your performance of ibadat and servitude to Allah not deteriorating it. Only Allah knows best..

Sunday, September 2, 2012

The happiest moment is. . .

is when u finally end up ur 3rd year with smileee :)


It's really a big relieve when I received message from my friend saying that I'm passed!

Well, u know the most scariest part in medicine that can cause severe palpitation & bilateral lower limb weakness is waiting for the result to come out. Risau kot..

Everytime when it comes to exam, its like..(long and short case especially)

"Ya Allah, aku ni tak belajar apa2 ke? ini aku tak tau. itu aku tak boleh jawap"

risau sangat-sangat...tapi bila result dah keluar, legaaaa.. That's medicine la kan. You learn best during the exam. Alhamdulillah I am now officially a 4th year medical student..(tua dah rupanya..) Congrats everyone! :)

p/s: now u gotta kick out za raya mode Ain..heh

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Trust

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life in a clearer view again..

Don't miss the flower because it lost its bloom, rather look forward to the spring when its beauty shall return yet again..


and TRUST, because He has a wonderful plan in works for you that you can't yet see or feel..but soon you will..:')


Good things come to those who wait..after they have tried. TRUST, even if you have no idea how your situation could ever improve..yes TRUST! Everything will gets better with time..

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Life isn't a box of chocolate


I do not know what's wrong with me..I don't know why I have been soooo super emotional lately..I don't know why..Honestly, I can just cry over the littlest dumbest things you could imagine like seriously..

Sometimes I feel like I don't want to study.. I don't want to do things and I don't feel like myself. I was thinking if I were not a medical student, I would have probably pursued for business.

Ahh..I really love business!  My passion for business became more and more when I started doing my online business. After 2 months being a full-time owner of online shop, I've experienced dealing with people from all over Malaysia until Brunei, Singapore..etc which was fun!

I want to own a company, being a nice boss, having nice dress, nice cars and a nice 5-figure income..But looking back my life here in medicine, I just have nothing.

So true..
But what do I have to do now?

I kept saying to my friends that I want to live my dreams. They laughed at me.hehe.maniac!

We will look and see in 30 years time.

Life is not a box of choc. Life will be so much easier if it were a straight road aite? Always know what's up next and know what to expect. But the road of life filled with all those bumps and an unexpected turns which we are not prepared for. And still whatever happened, in the end we will completely depend on Him.

My dad once said to me "Kalau hidup kita ni tak 'hidup', sama la macam mati". Hm. Couldn't agree more.

I know sometimes, what I really want is not a right things for me after all. Oh Allah..Grant me blessings in it and grant me blessings better than it.

Ok.Enough then before I keep on mumbling things that I'm not supposed to write. Daa!

 p/s: I need a booster. need some motivations.. nak balik..:'(

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Me in Medical

Assalamualaikum..

Sekarang cukup 5 minggu aku di Medical posting
Banyak sgt benda yg aku belajar
But still byk jugak benda yang aku tak tahu

Semakin byk aku belajar, semakin byk aku tak tahu
Dgn kata lain semakin byk menuntut ilmu, semakin 'ngeng'
So lebih baik berhenti menuntut ilmu..(haha)
Tak2.Sebenarnya semakin byk aku belajar, rupanya baru aku tahu betapa ceteknya ilmu yg aku ada.. =,=

Banyak benda yang aku agak 'touching' sepanjang sepanjang Medical posting ni
Hari tu pergi tgok CAPD (Continuous Ambulatory Peritoneal Dialysis)
Patient yang pegi buat CAPD ni patient end stage renal failure
And most of it elder patient la kan
Tapi hari tu pegi klinik nephro, jumpa patient Putra Haikal
Mula-mula aku igt mak dia yg nak buat CAPD
Rupa2nya Haikal, 9 tahun, dah ada renal failure
So mak Haikal terpaksa buat CAPD utk anak dia 5kali sehari!
Ya Allah..bayangkan 5 kali sehari buat peritoneal dialysis
Tok Ma aku buat hemodialysis selang sehari pun dah cukup kesian aku tengok
Ya Allah..aku tak tahu lah. Memang kuat sungguh hati ibu gigih menjaga anak

Dalam wad pulak, aku rasa terharu tgok patient ni bersolat atas katil, 
Pakcik Ghalim namanya
Ini 1st time aku tgok patient solat
Lepas dia solat tu aku tegur lah dia
Baik betul lah pakcik niiiiiiiiiiiiii..
Sangat2 lah fatherly..
Ya Allah kurniakan dia kesihatan yang baik Ya Allah..

Ada sorang patient lagi akak Selmah
Akak ni suddenly dpt hemorrhagic stroke attack
Tak boleh berjalan, bercakap pun agak susah
Aku baca report dia. Akak Selmah ni baru letak under psychiatric
Since dia dapat stroke ni dia mengalami depression yang amat sangat sbb tak dpt berjalan and bercakap properly mcm dulu
Tak boleh bekerja, lonely, and family member tak rapat dengan dia..
Ya Allah..kesiannya..kalau menyelami kehidupan setiap patient ni aku rasa aku banjir dah
Bila aku entertain kak Selmah, aku dapat rasa keikhlasan dia
Bagi aku makanan, siap bagi fon number and address lagi suruh visit dia (huhu)
InshaAllah ada kebaikan sedang menanti untuk dirimu kak Selmah..

So far, dalam Medical posting ni, aku dapat rasa Medical bukan lah taste aku (hehe)
Tapi in terms of medical knowledge, byk benda aku belajar dlm posting ni
And banyak benda tentang life juga yang aku dpt ambil iktibar (posting lain pun sama)
Just sometimes, aku terfikir, am I able to be a good doctor?or at least a 'safe' doctor?
Aku takut..Ya Allah..Bantulah aku..permudahkan lah..

-"Allah tak marah kalau kita tak pandai, tapi Allah marah kalau kita tak pergi belajar"- UAI

Betul tu Ustaz Azhar! Moga kata2 Ustaz sentiasa terngiang dlm telinga ni.huhu..



Saturday, May 26, 2012

Be thankful :)

Angkatlah tanganmu yang kosong itu,
Hatta ia kotor mahupun kudung,
Berdoalah..Berdoalah kerana Allah mendengar setiap cicit ayat yang keluar dari mulut hambaNya yang berdoa..
Yakinlah..
Allah tak pernah silap meletakkan seseorang di sesuatu tempat..
Allah tak pernah silap. Kan? <3
 
Be thankful, grateful and learn to appreciate..:)

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Sedang Apa~


Hidup jangan mengungkit..Apatah lagi dia sudah berubah..
Kalau Allah ungkit dosa-dosa kita hinalah kita..
Let bygone be bygone..
Manusia boleh bertaubat..
Takutlah dosa diri sendiri daripada membuka aib orang lain..

Muhasabah diri..
Jangan sebab kita, ada insan yang menangis terluka..
Entah-entah orang yang kita sakiti jiwanya itu adalah kekasih Allah..


Thursday, April 19, 2012

Time after time

Assalamualaikum

I'm soO relieved after done my seminar and long case presentation eventhough I know I wasn't done it very well. Hope I'll be more systematic after this. And I think I really need to learn how to hide the panic too. Huhu..Surgery is tough and takes a lot of patience. But still every posting comes with different challenges la kan, gotta live with that. Sometimes I dunno what I learned for the past 7 weeks. Despite so much exposure, I'm still very slow-ow-ow...(-_-)

 "Monkey teaches monkey. This is not a monkey bussiness u know!" (ayat siapa ni..=P)
 
 It would be much pleasure if I were called as Corelle mangkuk ke..Vantage ke..(hehe..nak sangat ke Syafiqah?)

Aside from my negativity in Surgery(eheh), I've also been busy joining several activities. Last week I was in charge in donation for Aqsa Sharif booth at Megamall Kuantan. Thus, need to go around the mall and asked for the donations.huhu..May Allah save Palestina!


 Together with Sheena, Maya, Mira n Me..You know what?When you are asking for donation, you will feel like...'Rejections are normal'

with Catriona Ross. Such a very lovely and soft spoken women :) She was invited to be one of the panel for a Forum held there..
Okay.That's all.Got to go! nak packing barang for program at Tasik Chini.weehuu..Will continue update about Chini soon.. InshaAllah..daa! :)


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

All you need is...


نعم لا بد من حب لتملاء كوننا الأنوار

Dr. Yusof al-Qardhawi berkata:

 “Cinta akan mencari manusia. Tetapi manusia jangan mencari cinta.”
"Dengan gemerlap dan bersinarnya hati, maka lahirlah kebaikan...
Dengan gelapnya hati,maka lahirlah kejahatan...
Apabila manusia telah mengenali hatinya maka dia akan kenal dirinya,
maka akan mengenal Tuhannya..."
(Imam Al-Ghazali)

  p/s: moga 'cinta' itu membangkitkan kita :)
 

Monday, April 16, 2012

Let it go with smile

We love ourselves even after making so many mistakes.
Then how can we hate others for only their small mistakes? 
Strange but true! So let's make habit of FORGIVING!


Do inhale ♥ ; exhale hate ^_^

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

19 JamadilAwwal 1433

Bismillah..Assalamualaikum

How time flies so fast. I am now almost at the 7th week of my surgical posting and still so many things I haven't finish read yet. Everytime when  I go to hospital, every single day, my legs are kind of wobbly from standing too long during ward rounds, joining clinics and during OT....like jelly hehehhh. Balik bilik je merangkak cari katil.haha.ok tipu. So tell me where's exactly the time to finish all those surgical books Dr?alasan Syafiqah alasan~


Medicine aside. Actually my birthday is today according to Islamic Calendar.19 JamadilAwwal. Hip.Hip.Ho0rayy! (hee..ada orang bagi hadiah la :P) Bless me Ya Allah..Bless me! Bless me! One thing I can't help to think of on my birthday is how much I want to thank to my Mother for giving me birth on that date. Terima kasih yang teramat Mak..=')

Well, my mum wasn’t a world leader or a famous doctor.She was neither business tycoon nor any social figure. But she was one of the greatest woman who had ever lived and 5th January 2006 was my first day without her. On that day, I didn’t know what to do with myself..also worried towards my younger bros and sisters..I’m worried if they not have the chance to feel love and being loved by a ‘Mother’ anymore like I feel..(Thanks alot Mama for your willingness to accept and taking care all 8 of us!)

Alhamdulillah..I am thankful that Allah let me have my mum for 17 years. And before He taking her, I am happy that I was given a chance to hug and kiss her, also to let her know, how much I loved her. Until now, there is no word I can express to show how much I missed her.The last time I saw her was in the mosque(jenazah prayer) just after I arrived from the Langkawi..Only He knows how I felt during that moment. I will not be able to see her anymore and from now on got to bear such a huge responsibility to help and support my dad especially.

That wonderful woman died with a smile on her face and fulfillment in her heart. She was a great & success as a wife, mother, daughter, sister and biology teacher..and she was my MuM... Al-Fatihah.

 Semoga Allah sayang Mak lebih daripada Angah sayangkan Mak..<3

Sunday, April 1, 2012

L.I.F.E

"Don't get disappointed whenever you fall. Because, only fallen leaves have the power to touch great heights when wind blows :)"
 

Kelmarin, Tuhan telah membantumu. Percayalah esok Dia masih akan tetap menolongmu. Bersangka baiklah kepada Allah.
-Imam as-Syafi'e ♥

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Be Better

When someone corrects you, do not feel bad or embarrased. Sometimes that is just a way Allah wants to reminds you how to be better :)


Sunday, March 11, 2012

Dear Heart

Saat Allah mencintai seseorang tempat pertama yang disentuhNya adalah HATI.

Disitulah Allah melenyapkan segala rasa putus asa dan kesedihan akibat dosa mereka kemudian digantikan dengan harapan dan keinginan untuk berubah menjadi insan yang bersih. Hati kita seolah2 berbisik... 


“Aku tahu bila Allah mencintaiku iaitu saat aku membenci segala kejahatanku”

Ya Allah..Jauhkanlah aku dari kelekaan dan kealpaan sehingga terlupa menyebut namaMu..

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Goodbye Paediatrics & Welcome Surgery..

Assalamualaikum

My Paeds posting results had just released. Alhamdulillah Ya Allah..:') I'm passed. Alhamdulillah3x. Alhamdulillah for all the GOOD and BAD that I've been through this posting..Thank you Allah..eventhough I know I'm not perform that well.hu.

"If Allah should aid you. no one can overcome you; But if He should forsake you, who is there can aid you after Him? And upon Allah let the believers rely" (Quran 3:160)
Alhamdulillah for Allah has given me, Astaghfirullah for all that I've taken for granted and InshaAllah for all the hopes I have of things to come..I'm now heading towards Surgery. Sayonara Paediatrics~

 
Missing them..:')When we come to Paediatric ward, we love to play with the children. And sometimes the amount of time spent on clerking was lesser compared to building rapport with the child.hee.

Once the child was attached to you, its hard to stop playing.Really..Buhbye kids..tssk

Proud moment over.

Currently, I'm having my Surgery posting which is totally a new world and new environment for me. From the stories that I got through the seniors and previous group, Surgery=Secaryy..(I dunno why I've got the same feeling when I first enter my O&G posting.huu.)

But somehow, I feel like surgery is kind of interesting. While the doctors from other department are just called as Dr. or Prof. but in Surgery, regardless what title or position they hold (except for the Dato' one.ehek), the surgeons are all addressed as Mr. @ Mrs. or Ms. Hm.I wonder why..

Nah.Here the 5 things that we need to cover within this week:
  1. Abdominal Examination
  2. Head and neck examination
  3. Breast examination
  4. Lower limbs and vascular examination
  5. Lumps and bumps examination
So many things need to revise back especially the Anatomy. Lupaa..hu. Till then, pray for me!

p/s: Increase me in knowledge Ya Allah..

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Keep on Praying

Hidup tak selalunya lawa. Tak selalunya ada pelangi. Kalau nak bed of roses pun, duri-durinya tetap ada. Kadang-kadang calamity itu datang dan waktu tu rasa macam kena gelek dengan ahli sumo dah. Rasa tak mampu nak bangkit.

Tapi walau apa pun yang jadi, ingat apa yang Dia selalu pesan..Allah tidak akan bebankan hambaNya dengan apa yang hambaNya tidak mampu. Dia juga tak pernah menjanjikan hidup ini mudah, tapi Dia berjanji akan sentiasa berada disisi kita disaat kita susah.

Kalau kita ada terrible day, feeling down, feeling like can't see the way out, turn to Him. Ask Him. Never stop asking. Bayangkan if the kindness of a person will make us cry, inikan pula the Kindness of Allah..:')

"Dan didapatiNya engkau mencari-cari (jalan yang benar), lalu Ia memberikan petunjuk"(Ad-Dhuha: 7)

 Make Du'a to Him. He is always with the needy..

Doa dari hati, bukan sekadar di bibir. Tanpa berdoa pun sebenarnya Allah tahu apa kemahuan kita, cuma, Doa yang dipohon itu adalah untuk menunjukkan pengabdian dan penyerahan diri kita yang hina dan dina kepadaNya..
 
Doesn't matter cepat atau lambat doa itu dimakbulkan..Yang penting berdoa. Allah menilai kesungguhan kita berdoa dan mengharap padaNya. Dia menilai sejauh mana kebergantungan kita terhadapNya. Dahulukan berdoa, kemudian berserah. Terpulang pada Allah sama ada ingin memakbulkan doa itu dengan cepat atau tidak. Teruskan berdoa. Dia mendengar..Dia sentiasa bersama hambaNYa yang memerlukan..(huhu.reminding myself too)


p/s: Dear Allah. I pray that whoever reads this message shall have Your comfort, joy, peace, love, & guidance. I may not know their troubles, but You do. Please keep protecting us.

Ameen:)

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Change

Berubah memang bukan mudah
Allah akan terus menguji keikhlasanmu
Dan pada masa itu, kau punya dua pilihan
Take it, or leave it

Ingat, Allah tak perlukan kau
Kekuasaan Allah takkan kurang sedikit pun kalau kau putus asa
Kau yang perlukan Allah
Jangan takut untuk bermula dari bawah
Kerana yang berada di atas belum tentu tidak akan jatuh

Dan dalam pendakianmu
Jangan pernah berhenti berdoa kepadaNya
Agar Dia kuatkan hatimu
Walau apapun dugaan yang Dia berikan
Jangan pernah merasakan dirimu cukup
Kerana banyak lagi yang Dia mahu berikan

Tapi andainya kau sudah merasa cukup,
Maka segalanya telah berakhir buatmu..

 Ya Allah, Tuhan yang membolak-balikkan hati, teguhkanlah hatiku pada agama-Mu dan jagalah perasaan ini agar tidak melampaui batasnya..

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Sollu 'ala nabi..

Ummul Mukminin A’ishah menceritakan,

“Suatu hari, tatkala aku melihat Rasulullah saw dalam mood yang baik, aku berkata kepadanya,

“Ya Rasulullah, mohonlah doa kepada Allah untukku!”
Maka baginda saw pun berdoa,

“Ya Allah, ampunkanlah A’ishah, dosa-dosanya yang lalu, dosa-dosanya yang akan datang, apa-apa yang dia sembunyikan, dan apa-apa yang dia zahirkan.”

Aku pun tersenyum girang, hingga kurasakan kepalaku hampir jatuh ke ribaku dek kerana kegembiraan itu. Berkata Rasulullah kepadaku,

“Sukakah engkau akan doaku itu?” Aku menjawab,

“Tentu, bagaimana mungkin doamu itu tidak membuatkan aku gembira!”

Sabda baginda saw, “Demi Allah, itulah doa yang aku mohon kepada Allah untuk ummatku pada setiap solatku”
SubhanAllah...:'( Dalamnya cinta Nabi pada umatnya..

Me allergy??

Assalamualaikum

When I was reading some article, I can't think of my poor blog.huhu. Lately, I haven't been able to write anything at all..and it seems unorganized blog ever.. (kesian lah T_T). So, tonight, I try to remain constant in writing and hope it will turn out to be something nice to share with.

Well, I’m quite busy lately..eheh.I've just finished my Paedriatric exam.Yahh..It's quite difficult actually especially the MCQ and OBA one..why put many neuro quest doc?agaga! For long case, I got the case of acute exacerbation of bronchial asthma (AEBA) while for the short case, I got the acute glomerulonephritis (AGN) patient. No comment. But honestly, I'm freaking nervous waiting for the result to come out *.* (Worrying will do nothing to help ya Ain. Chillex..ok2.)

I donno, early of the revision week, I got fever and followed with red, itchy rashes all over my body.huhu..Differential diagnosis that cross to my mind at that moment..
  • Allergy?but I realized I never been allergy
  • Worm infestation?(as Shiro describe the rash)
  • SLE? (haha.over)
Here is hows the rashes look like (This pic is not mine.but its look exactly the same.he.thanks google image!)

I don't know what I ate, what I touched or stepped on...or even...who bit me?? T_T Well, I did sleep on the carpet the night before (dah biasa kot tdo bawah tade apa2 pun).

It all happened after I got up, and pray for Subuh prayer, then suddenly my face, hands, and foot was very itchy that I couldn't stop scratching..to stop the itchiness..tssk :( Not long after that, it became swollen..and got more and more rashes on it. And it has started to affect my body T_T

I went to pharmacy and bought oral anti-histamine and still not resolved. Few of my friends also recommend me to sapu air garam and yeah it worked! The rashes were still there but became less swollen and no more itchy :)

However, the next day, my friend Shiro notice my condition was getting worsen with the rashes and periorbital oedema (dh mcm nephrotic patient dah). She immediately brought me to the clinic and I was injected with Prednisolone.Yeah.cepat je resolved! I never expect the effect of the steroid would be that fast! Alhamdulillah :D

Along that condition, especially the time when the rashes spread on my face, I was like ya Allah, kalau Allah nak tarik nikmat tu bila2 pun Dia boleh tarik. Seriously, muka macam orang tua dah with all the red patches.huhu..Rashes oh rashes..please don't come again ya.:p

Ok.itu je nak tulis.haha..oh wait! My next posting is Surgery-the most hardest and toughest posting in Year 3.ohho..So, dear all, please pray for me ok..peace! ;)

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Belajarlah untuk Redha

Ya.
ada sesetengah benda,
tak kira sekuat mana kita usaha, kita nak, dan kita cuba dapatkan,
tak akan mampu juga kita miliki,
kerana bukan itu yang tertulis dalam rencanaNYA,
... kerana bukan itu yang DIA kehendaki.

bukan sengaja Allah tak nak bagi,
tapi ada sebabnya Allah tak beri.


"Cubalah “lepaskan” apa yang memang bukan milik kita,
dan cubalah “terima” apa yang memang Allah nak beri ♥"
 

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Oh Allah..


Grant me the chance to visit this holy place, ya Allah...


Monday, January 16, 2012

Doa#1 :)

Rasulullah mengajar kita supaya berdoa dengan doa ini,

"Ya Allah janganlah Engkau serahkan diriku kepada diriku sendiri walaupun sekelip mata."
Mengapa? kerana diri kita lemah, ilmu cuma sekerat, kudrat kita terhad. Mana mungkin kita dapat mengharungi kehidupan yang begitu mencabar ini hanya bersandarkan kekuatan diri :)
 

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Balance

Sadness gives depth
Happiness gives height
Sadness gives roots
Happiness gives branches
Happiness is like a tree going into the sky
and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth
Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously
The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots
In fact, it is always in proportion
That is BALANCE
 p/s: harus kuat seperti pokok ni ye Ain!


"Sungguh, Kami menciptakan segala sesuatu menurut ukuran♥"
[Surah Al-Qamar:49]

Saturday, January 14, 2012

A Letter to Wardina ^_^

Two years back, I sent a letter to Wardina. Actually, it was not really a letter pun but some sort of private message expressing my feeling towards her. And at that moment, Wardina was bombarded with so many negative feedback from media because of her statement saying about the "icon". huhu..kesian dia..

Anyway, this is what I wrote to her....

"Sy setuju dgn apa yg kak dina lakukan skrg..msyrakat memerlukan msg yg jelas tntg apa yg blaku dlm dunia skrg dan media lah memainkn perann yg sgt pntg dlm pkara ini. Kak dina, sy pernah mghadiri sesi ujibakat prog gadis melayu.hee!musim ke-2..sy mghadri ujibakat ini pun bukan lah kerana sy tiba2 nak glamor or popular bagai..ttp skadar mencari pengalamn dlm dunia penyiaran ni. Mak ayah pun pernah tgok audition musim lepas (tanya pasal masakan, kain2 batik, mengaji etc.) so mereka tak ralat lah nk izinkan sy. lgpun, sy pelajar di bidang perubatan..nah..mustahil bg sy utk terjun terus ke bidang penyiarn.

Begini, sewaktu sy ujibakat prog tsebut, ia btul2 mmbuka mata, dan minda sy dlm dunia media n hiburan..sy melihat rata2 yg mghadiri ujibakat tsebut berpakaian seksi, baju jarg n nipis dgn perwatakan yg sgt bertentagn dgn ciri2 "gadis melayu"..sy pula bpakaian bju kebarung biasa sje sbb kununnye mmegang title gadis melayu..=P sy tidak bmaksud utk menunjuk kebaikn diri tp sy pasti kak dina faham akn apa yg igin sy smpykan..

sy sgt terkejut ketika berada di tempat ujibakt tsebut..'Pencarian Gadis Melayu'..mndengar sja ayt tersebut sudah tntu kita mmbayangkan pencarian seorg gadis yg mmpu mjadi ikon pd zmn skrg..lbih2 lg kpd gadis remaja di luar sna yg bangga akn keruntuhan akhlak yg mrka miliki..em, lagi lama sy berada disana, lg confuse diri sy dibuatnya..inikan pncarian gadis melayu.knp perlu menguji skill nyanyian, tarian, lakonan?jika lagu2 atau2 tarian2 tradisional itu, acceptable la lg..but then, lgu yg mnjadi pilihan adlah lgu rihanna n lgu2 barat yg lain.ketika itu, blum lg turn sy..tp dh rse cuak jugak la sbb sy mmg xde bakat menyanyi n menari ni..aish.

ble tiba saje turn sy, sy pun msuk la di bilik ujibakat tsebut dgn yakinnya.sy berdiri di hdpan juri..n sy terus terang sy katakan pd mereka yg sy tidak ada bakat dlm bidang lakonan, tarian n nyanyian..ttp sy amat meminati utk mengacarakan atau mjadi moderator utk sesuatu diskusi ilmiah..salah seorg drpd juri itu(Zul Huzaimi)..bru kenal nme die hari tu, hehe..senyum sinis dihadapan sy seolah2 mperlekeh diri sy..katanye, "adakah ini baju seorg gadis melayu?" sy kata "ya!inilah baju tradisional melayu kita.." melihat kelakuan juri yg kurang menyenangkan sy, sy pun meminta izin utk keluar dr bilik itu..Zul H pula ckp, "ye..sila..sila..sila..". sbnrnye pnjg lg interaksi antara sy n juri..tp sy ringkaskn disitu shj..

Apa yg sy ingin katakan di sini kn kak dina, knp mereka mbanggakan gadis2 spt yg menari lagu rihanna 'please dont stop da music' itu dan memelekehkan gadis spt sy..sbnrnya sblum sy msuk dibilik ujibakat itu, produser gadis melayu itu ada bg briefing, "musim ini kta ingin mcari seorg gadis yg agresif, berani, bukan spt gadis melayu dlu2.zaman kesultanan melayu melaka dlu"..grrr...!katanya lagi, "klu setakat tahu mnjahit, memasak, mengemas, semua org boley buat.klu gadis tu boley bjalan kaki keatas kepala ke bawah..ha..silakan.."

katanya lg, "Musim kali ini, kami tidak mahu gadis yg lemah lembut, sopan santun, lemah gemalai..tak nak.itu kami tak mahu.kami inginkan seseorg yg ada Xfactor..kamu semua pernah tgok America nex top model tak?ha..kami ingin mcm tu la.kami mjadikan ANTM as our referrence..klu kamu tgok prog ditu, setiap modl ade mcm2 karakter..ade yg cantik, tp bodoh..ade yg bising byk mulut.."nah..apa2 la produser oi..begini kak dina.pd pndangn kak dina gadis melayu ini seharusnya bagaimana?pada pndagn peribadi sy, gadis melayu ini seharusnya seorg wanita yg gigih, berani..ketinggian ilmu yg ada pada dirinya mmbuatkan org sekeliling merasa hormat disamping mengekalkan adat2 ketimuran dan yg paling penting sekali agama yg ada pd dirnya..

Malangnya, media pd masa kini, mengelirukan pemikiran msyrakat..kata gadis melayu.tp mjdkan ANTM as a referrence..klu mcm tu baik tak perlu gunakn title gadis melayu..gne Malaysian Nex top model ke..hmm..dalam bilik ujibakat itu juga sy ada mendefinisikan istilah gadis melayu menurut pndgn sy..dn sy katakan klu kte nk mahu kehadapan, jgn sekali2 tinggalkan agma..yes!agama..tp kenyataan sy disangkal pula.kata si Zul H tu.."no..no..no..kamu tak boleh satukan agama..agama adalh agama..adat adalah adat..dunia adalah dunia.."..haish..Allah saje yg tahu apa yg sy rse..malas nk layan mamat ni.ini ke juri?dush2!sy tak suka sy trus keluar bilik tu jalan laju2 ke lobby. Time tu produser call sy ckp nk jumpa. sy pun tggu je lah smbil nangis sorg2.sobs. ='( sy igtkan produser je yang akn dtg.rupa2nya cameraman skali. Apa lg, sy gunakan oppurtunity ni ckp segala mcm facts yg ada dlm kepala sy. Serius time tu ilham dtg mencurah2 dari kepala ni and sy bckp non stop pum pam pum pam smpai cameraman kena tukar tape. Sy harap sgt diorang fahaammm apa yg sy ingin sampaikan.

Tidak Allah jadikan sesuatu itu dgn sia2..byk pkara yg sy blajar drpd insiden tu..especially pemikiran msyrakat kte..seolah2 dh twisted..dan bila bce kata2 kak dina dlm newspaper, sy berase terharu sgt..klu kte nk berubah dunia, kte kenalah ubah diri kte dlu..tp klu nk tggu diri kte ni perfect bru nk bdakwah atau mnyebarkan ilmu kpd org, mmg smpy ble2 pun kte takkan maju kehadapan..sbb kte mmg takkan perfect.langkah yg kak dina ambil sgt la tepat! semua org ade role utk merubah dunia. tanggungjawp kte semua untk merubah pemikiran masyrakt diluar sne yg sbnarnye sgt2 dahagakn kebenaran..kak dina ade 'power' utk merubah masyarakt..sy yakin..sy disini hanya sekadar mmpu kongsikan ape yg sy ade bsama dgn rakan2..

ini shj yg sy nk kongsikan dgn kak dina..maaf.ayt sy tah ape2 sket..dh lme dh tak mengarang..ngee~ ape2 pun salam maulidur Rasul..luv kak dina..:)Semoga sentiasa dipayungi rahmatNya.."

Guess what did she reply??

"Ain! Bia asa tulis msg pasal gadis melayu tu... Astaghfirullah....
teruknya...... im so proud of you..... memang kita keluarlah dari situ...Memang Malaysia jauuuhh ketinggalan bukan dari segi bangunan tapi PEMIKIRAN.....Kalau saya di situ, sorang2 dah kena sound.....call me 012219#### :) im sooo proud...you did the right thing"

Oh Kak Dina.. I wish I could meet you someday. You are totally amazing and really inspiring me alot!