Price tag :)

Assalamualaikum.

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a dollar twenty ($20) in the room of two hundred (200) people. Speaker asked, "Who would like this dollar twenty ($20) bill?" Hands started going up.

Speaker said, "I am going to give this dollar ($20) to one of you, but first, let me do this." He proceeded to crumpled up the dollar twenty ($20) bill. And he asked, "Who still wants it?" Still hands were up in the air.

"Well, what if I do this?" He dropped on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up and now the bill already crumpled and dirty. He asked again, "Who still wants this?" Still hands went up into the air.

******************

No matter what was the speaker done to the money, it was still wanted because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth dollar twenty ($20).

Same goes to us. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. Ans sometimes, we may feel we are worthless and useless.

But no matter what was happened and will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you.

p/s: YOU ARE PRICELESS TO THOSE WHO LOVE YOU :)

5 years without her..

Assalamualaikum.

Siapa yang tak pernah merasa kehilangan? Aku yakin semua orang pun pernah rasa. tapi klu kecik2 dulu selalu hilang pemadam, hilang pensel kat sekolah dah rasa hilang teramat..balik rumah bila abah cek bekas pensel hilang itu hilang ini mesti kena marah.huhu.kena bebel tak pandai jaga barang.boleh dikira rasa kehilangan la jugak dok. 

Bila besar sket masuk asrama mulalah nak hilang toiletries la, baju yang hantar kat dobi la, hilang kalkulator la..tak tenang hati bila hilang2 barang ni. Makanya, boleh dirumuskan semakin kita membesar, semakin hebat cabaran kehilangan kita. Tapi itu kalau kita hilang barang2 material atau barang2 yang boleh diganti. Kalau kita boleh terima kehilangan tu dgn positif, hati pun takde lah gundah gulana memanjang. Macam mana pula kalau kita hilang benda yang tak dapat diganti?

Yes. Aku pun tak terkecuali daripada merasa 'kehilangan' ni. Aku ni dah la jenis yang passive+introvert+sensitive type. Dapat la berita gembira, sedih, buruk, lawak ke hape aku mesti akn fikir and digest benda tu btul2. Then I will make my own conclusion either conclusion berkenaan dgn cerita tsebut atau org yg menceritakan tu :P Aku ni pun kuat nangis gak. Kalau duk asrama dulu hari2 call mak, hari2 nangis.ckp tak boleh study la..kawan itu la..cikgu ini la..mcm2 aku ni..memang hari2 pun aku akn singgah kat public fon call mak. Sekejap pun tape. Takde menda nak ckp pun tape. Call je. Dpt dengar suara pun jadi la.Sobs T_T

Sampai hari yang aku rasa mmg Allah btul2 nak menguji kekuatan aku. Aku kehilangan mak waktu aku Form5. Time tu serius aku rasa mcm mimpi. Even sampai skrg ni pun, aku rasa macam baru lagi mak pergi. Ya Allah..kalau diingatkan kembali time tu aku rasa macam jantung ni jatuh berdebub ke bawah. Kali terakhir aku peluk mak time mak hantar aku ke Langkawi. Aku tak tau kenapa time tu mak menangis and peluk aku kuat2. Aku bila mak dah mcm tu lagi la aku nak menangis but I pretend like a tough-man la hari tu.Taknak menangis. Bila kereta abah mak dah pergi aku senyum and lambai-lambai dari jauh. Hilang je kereta abah mak, airmata jatuh macam air tumpah dari tempayan. Nonstop tak henti2.

Aku tak tahu langsung yang mak aku dah meninggal sebab accident. Sehari sebelum aku dapat tahu berita tu satu sekolah buat bacaan Yassin. Sebelum lights-off and after solat Subuh berjemaah esoknya. Pelik jugak mula2 kenapa suddenly kerap pulak buat bacaan Yassin.selalu malam Jumaat je. Sampai lah cikgu Haji Anuar (HEP) panggil aku kat surau perempuan. Aku nampak mata cikgu berair. Aku pun blur2 time tu. Tak tahu apa2 pun. Cikgu datang kat aku tunjuk mesej fon dia.

Cikgu: Ini nombor ayah kamu kan Ain?
Aku: Aah. Betul. Kenapa cikgu? (*aku takut dah)
Cikgu: Baca mesej yang ayah kamu bagi ni. Ayah send kt cikgu petang semalam..

Cikgu menangis tp aku blur. Aku ambil fon cikgu and aku baca.

1st msg: "Cikgu tlg beritahu anak saya Ain Syafiqah yang mak dia koma di hosp skrg. Doc kata life 50-50"
2nd msg: " Cikgu. Isteri saya dah meninggal dunia"

Aku tersentap.terkejut.mustahil lah. Mak baru je hantar aku ke Langkawi. Aku senyum pandang muka cikgu and aku cuba yakinkan cikgu, " Cikgu..takkan kot..mak baru hantar saya. Cikgu salah nombor ni.." Cikgu menangis and cikgu tak cakap apa2. cikgu suruh aku balik asrama kemas barang and balik. Ada saudara dah tunggu kt jeti seberang. Aku blur. Serius aku blur. Aku tak tau nak percaya ke tak and aku tak menangis langsung. And kalau betul msg tu abah send smlm, knp cikgu tak terus bagi tahu aku smlm jugak? Aku nak call abah. nak ckp dgn abah time tu jugak.

Lepas je aku kemas barang2, aku turun bawah aku nampak cikgu Haji Anuar tunggu aku. Aku ckp kt cikgu nak pinjam fon nak call ayah. Cikgu bagi and aku call abah. Dengar je suara abah, aku menangis. Aku just tanya "Abah, Betul ke?". Abah jawap, "Angah. Sabar ye..". Aku tak tanya pun Mak meninggal sebab apa..macam mana..adik2 macam mana.. Yang aku nak Mak. Aku nak mak ada. Tapi dengar je suara abah time tu aku rasa Ya Allah...kenapa ni? Aku menangis and still rasa susah sangat nak percaya.

Aku naik feri ke Kuala Kedah. Sampai je kt jeti sana aku nampak makngah and pakngah tgh tggu. Aku nampak makngah aku lari terus peluk dia. Makngah cuba tenangkan aku. Aku tak tahulah macam mana nak describe apa yang aku rasa time tu. Sedih+confuse. Dalam perjalanan aku nak balik ke kampung aku duk menangis je. Aku tak percaya. Sangat tak percaya selagi aku tak nampak jenazah mak depan mata aku sendiri. Mana mungkin mak dah pergi. mak baru lagi hantar aku balik ke Langkawi.

Beberapa jam lepas tu, aku sampai kt depan Masjid As-Saadiah Teluk Intan. Ramai sangat orang. Aku nampak sedara-mara aku yang lain..kawan2 mak yang aku kenal..kawan2 abah..Aku tengok muka adik2 aku, aku menangis. Ame, Wan, Udin nampak tenang. Kakak menangis. Wani pulak keep repeating mak dah mati.mak dah mati tp tak faham apa2. Wana 9 bulan lagi waktu tu. Aku nak masuk pintu masjid tapi ramai sangat orang. Semua dah selesai solat jenazah. Then ada orang menjerit "Tunggu!Tunggu! Ada anak arwah dari Langkawi baru sampai!". Rupa-rupanya mereka nak angkat jenazah mak ke van jenazah dah. Aku cepat2 masuk dalam masjid tu. Aku nampak abah. muka abah penat sgt. Then ada orang keliling tolong bukakan kain putih yang tutup muka mak. Dia pesan, cium dahi mak tapi jangan menangis. Aku ikut ckp dia. Aku nampak je muka mak, Ya Allah.. Betul.. Mak dah takde..Ya Allah..Aku tahan menangis aku cium dahi mak. Sejuk..Ya Allah..Kau tempatkan Mak dalam kalangan orang2 yang beriman..

Sampai di kubur aku hanya melihat jenazah mak ditanam. Abah and Abang tolong tanamkan. Sekarang aku dah takde mak. Tak sangka Mak pergi awal. Sangat tak sangka. Aku sangat rindu mak sebenarnya. Walaupun dah ada pengganti still tak sama dengan mak and aku tahu abah lah orang paling merasa 'kehilangan' ni. Sebelum mak meninggal dulu macam2 yang mak buat untuk keluarga. Mak jenis yang tak boleh duduk diam. Bisnes, tulis buku rujukan bio sasbadi spm, and mak ni sgt suka decorate rumah. Buat itu buat ini. Dulu mak pernah try mohon loan utk rumah baru. Hari yang mak meninggal tu lah dapat surat bgtau loan tu dah diluluskan. Sedihnya. Memang ktorang tak duduk lah rumah tu.

Tapi nak citanya 'kehilangan' Mak lah satu-satunya pengajaran terbesar dalam hidup aku. Aku byk kenal erti hidup. Lepas mak dah takda, aku and adik beradik yg lain byk kenal susah senang hidup dgn abah. Abah sampai sekarang selalu pesan kt ktorang jgn lupa doakan mak.doakn mak everyday afta solat n byk lagi. Kalau nak cerita, tak ter-cerita. So my advice here to those yang telah membaca cerita ni, always respect your parents. Sometime we take advantage to a person yang kita rasa akan sentiasa bersama dgn kita but remember there will come a point where they will leave you and you can't never get them back. So, appreciate them while you have them.

Post-exam Syndrome

Assalamualaikum.


Just finished my first clinical exam.only God know how hard I'd faced them but Alhamdulillah..that's what I could say at this present moment. Not because I'm satisfied with what I have done during the exam. Still there were many mistakes I've learned and many weaknesses that I need to improve. But being grateful is more than enough to make me feel relief and less worry about the exam.

Memorizing is actually the most important key for us to be successful during the exam. That was my weakness. I can't memorize well. For me, the understanding is the most important. I can't memorize thing blindly. It wouldn't work at all. And I also have short term memory loss. very unfortunately. T_T So I need to repeat reading the same thing over and over even I had studied that part during study week but i need to revise it on the night before the paper.

I'm not kind of person that can stay up along the night. It's totally not going to work on me. But sometimes I have no other choices. I had to burn the midnight oil. It very frustrated when I can't remember a thing I had studied in the exam hall. huhu..But overall for theory paper, ok kot..*sounds less confident even many past year compilation questions came out again. Why la Ain..

For long case exam I got the case of reduce fetal movement due to maternal pyrexia secondary to urinary tract infection while for my short case, polyhydramnions secondary to fetal anomaly (duodenal atresia). I did try to present the case as best as I can. All I can do now praying and accept the faith. I might be disappointed with the result. Well I can guess how the result will be. Hope I can take it positively.

Here I wanna share part of the dialog in between me and my patient during clerking exam yesterday. My patient is 16years old (premarital conception) and this is her first pregnancy.

Me: Adik. kenapa adik masuk hospital ye?

Patient : Baby tak gerak..

Me: Lagi apa yang adik rasa sebelum masuk hospital?ada keluar darah tak?turun air ke?

Patient: Takde. Baby tak gerak je..

Me: Adik ada penah jatuh ke sebelum ni?

Patient: *thinking for few seconds..ha..ada2.masa raya haritu.sapu sampah pastu terjatuh kat tangga..

Me: Ok.adik ada demam ke semasa mengandung ni?

Patient: Ada.tp sekejap je mggu lepas.pastu masuk hospital..

Me: Minggu lepas masuk hospital tu sebab apa?demam je?

Patient: Tak.Rasa sakit perut mengeras..

Me: Ok.doktor bagi rawatan apa masa tu?

Patient: Doktor cucuk sni ( refer to her right hand) masuk air

Me: Doktor masuk air je ke?takde bagi ubat apa2?injection ke?

Patient: Takde..

Me: Lagi apa yg adik rasa sebelum masuk hospital minggu lepas?

Patient: Takde. sakit kt perut dgn demam je..

Me: Betul takde apa2?takde rasa berdebar2?pening2 ke?

Patient: Ada2..

Me: Lagi ada rasa apa lagi?ingat tak?Hm.ada apa2 lagi yg saya tertinggal n perlu tau?tolonglah adik..sy tgh exam ni..saya nak pass..

Patient: Ada2. rasa takut..

Me: Pffffttt~ (hahaha..giggling dlm hati..:p)

Does He loves you?

Assalamualaikum..

 "One day a man said to Allah : I LOVE YOU THE MOST

Allah took all his wealth and ask him : Do you love Me now?
The man said : More than before!

Allah made all his family against him so they all left him.
And Allah ask him again : Do you still love Me?
He replied : Yes!

Allah made him so poor that he had nothing to wear and eat.
And Allah asked once more : Do you love Me now?
The man said : I love You more than ever before because...

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

I=I

THERE'S NOTHING BETWEEN US NOW"

SubhanAllah..I was crying reading this.

Sometimes we forgot that Allah always love us. Every doa that we ask, every time we say Ya Allah, Allah answer it! He is al-Mujeeb, He answers us but do we 'answer' Him? Do we remember Him?

Allah never throws us deeper than we can go. He throws us from such height where He knows yes we may fall, gain few scratches, and open wounds but He also knows how much sabr, tolerance and will power we have to stand back up. Yes we did complain, crying sometimes and moan saying "Why me!" but if we think deeply and logically, Allah is making us, not breaking us..sobs..Forgive me Allah..  ='I

 p/s : Love Allah and Allah will love you more!

My O & G posting

Assalamualaikum :)

Live in O&G posting is very busy. I have to be always on the go. Thats why I've been working really hard in O&G department HTAA (erkk..yeke??either working hard or hardly working.. :P ) Alhamdulillah lots of new experiences, new mistakes, new knowledge I have gained along this posting.

And yeah, I am ending my posting in few more days! hee..why am I so happy ni..getting ending on dis posting means getting nearer to the final exam la Ain! T.T

Anyway, I want to thank to HOD of O&G, Prof Mokhtar, who is a verryyyy intelligent, busy yet caring person (my mentor tuu..he), and our specialists are Dr Ganesh, Prof Murad, Dr Raja Arif, Dr Ziana, Prof Hamiza, Prof Zalina, Dr Muna, Dr Dahlia, Dr Azam, Prof Roszaman etc.

Mo’s – Dr Azha, Dr Ayu, Dr Yong, Dr Wan Firdaus, Dr Maryam, Dr Rohani etc.
Ho's - Dr Salmiah, Dr Anisah, Dr Marisa, Dr Alif, Dr Vance, Dr Khadijah, Dr Siva etc.
and of course the core and backbone of O&G, all the midwives and staff nurses at labour room. Thank you so much for all your help, instruction, and your effort to improve us. Thank you! Thank you!

And here, I also want to wish all of my friends a very sweet and Happy Eidul Adha!:) May Allah bless and reward us with the blessing of Heaven..ameen10x..

 Pic raya haji last year with my friends Sheena, Mira, Aina, Kaklong, Fasha and Me. Style btul ;P

Till then, buh bye and Salam

Love Triangle

Assalamualaikum.

I would like to share something interesting here since I've got nothing to do (ceh..padahal byk je menda boleh buat). While I was facebooking..blogwalking...suddenly I was stumbled at someone page and found nice article saying about..... love triangle!

Notice how there is no line connecting you and that special person?

Well, the thing is you have to reach God first,
LOVE God so much that you draw closer to Him,
but the thing is...your special person must do the same until..
you both reach God, and by God, be connected.

And that is the REAL love triangle..cute kan??