*I'm taken :P* The Engagement :)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
Assalamualaikum wbt..

I thought that I could update it earlier but since few days ago I ni malas sangat (hehe) and got few things that need to be settled first, so terpaksa la hold dulu tulis entry ni. 

23hb December 2012 was the day I am destined to be engaged with him. How time flies so fast. Even me myself feel kinda hard to believe that I am now already 'caught' :P But Alhamdulillah..after much discussions, tears, disputes, lectures, etc. it's finally happened..Thank you Allah :')

So, here are the moments..

Alhamdulillah :) Everything went smoothly. I'm officially engaged.. hee.. so HAPPY!  don't know how to describe my feeling right now. hehe..only people who has been through this step will feel this feeling. We are now one step closer. Only one more step to tie the knot In shaa Allah..We pray to Allah to make us strong to face all the things together, so that we can make it until the end of our life. Ameen :) May Allah swt bless our journey..

p/s: Rasulullah menjelaskan di dalam hadithnya yang bermaksudkan: "Sekiranya kamu mempunyai anak-anak perempuan yang sudah remaja, lalu datang seseorang yang datang meminang, jika kamu dapati laki-laki yang masuk meminang itu baik akhlaknya, agamanya dan sebagainya, maka segeralah kamu menikahkannya."

Drowning?

Assalamualaikum

It's been a long time I haven't wrote my blog properly. If update pun, an effortless entry je.hue3..(*macam la ada orang nak baca). Well, I don't plan to update pun, but entahlah tiba2 sign in and here I am..hmm.too many things to be shared. So how should I start?

"If you are facing BIG tests in your life, it just means you will have a BIG destiny"

I really love to think and talk about the future. I have planned so many thing things to do in my life.Yeah.ada some of them yang macam impossible je pulak but I put TRUST on Him. When Allah wants something to happen, it will happen.No matter what.No matter where.No matter when.No matter in any situation you are.

Being a grown up teenager, too many things I have learn from my experience and from the people surround me. And thru them, I learn all the do's and dont's..Melalui orang2 yang soleh solehah yang Allah 'hadirkan' dalam hidup ni, I learn to be His servant. Melalui orang2 yang 'kurang baik', I learn to not to do what He has forbidden. 

But sometimes, there was a moment when I feel like down and frustrated yang kalau orang psycho sikit je dah mula dah keluar air mencurah-curah ke ladang gandum. The moment bila call dengar suara abah mama je pun dah boleh menangis keluar hingus tak hengat dunia. The moment when I really wanna talk and share with somebody but I have nobody to talk to and to rely on. yeah.that awful moment.

However, through those tough moment lah I learn how to build up my strength and that's what we call as life. Nak taknak, we have to go through some sad and sorrow moment. Happy all the time tu tak challenge lah kan. Monotonous je dull and boringg you know..hehe

In my humble opinion, sometimes, to be in a not-so-okay mood is better sebab waktu itu lah kita akan rasa kita rapat dengan Dia. You will start buat tahajud, dhuha, rajin baca Quran bla bla. Time tu even baca Bismillah or sebut Allahuakbar je pun, dah mula mata berkaca..tekak tersedu2..kenapa?sebab time itu lah kita rasa betapa kecil and kerdil nya diri kita. Yang sangat lemah dan tak punya apa-apa. Yang memang tanpa rahmat dan kasih sayang Allah, kita rasa tak tentu arah.

And through all those challenges we will learn to build our strength and soul. Bila kita berpura-pura menjadi kuat takde siapa nampak air mata kita yang tersembunyi melainkan Allah. Menyenangkan hati manusia itu susah tapi menyenangkan Allah itu adalah paling mudah. Manusia mungkin menghukum kesalahan yang kita lakukan, tetapi Allah tak pernah mengabaikan dan siap mengampunkan lagi kesalahan kita. 

Allah's love is everywhere..Can you feel that? How sweeet :')

Life is a bless.simple words but yet huge meaning hidden behind it. It will not forever filled with joyful and happiness. Thus, if you feel like 'drowning', keep ur head up and keep ur heart strong. Have 300% faith in Him..

A story from Sheikh Navaid Aziz :)

Syeikh Navaid Aziz told a story, there was a man. He is from Africa, a muslim. It took years and years for him to get married because of racism and stuff. He finally got married to someone he really loves and she is about to deliver their first child.....

Then, Allah took the life of his wife and the baby.

It was unimaginable and unthinkable to even think how he was feeling during that moment, but guess what? A wife and child is a test from Allah. Allah can take it anytime He wants.

Allah wants to make sure that he is not loving his wife and his child more than loving Allah himself. This is a litmus test for everyone who wants to get married. 

Then ask ourselves, do we want to get married for the sake of ourselves (with the main goal of satisfying desire) or do we want to get married so that we can become closer to Allah and love Allah more?

Some people Allah make them get married early, some people Allah make them get married late or single forever. It does not matter what the situation is as long as the marriage should be able to boost your performance of ibadat and servitude to Allah not deteriorating it. Only Allah knows best..

The happiest moment is. . .

is when u finally end up ur 3rd year with smileee :)

It's really a big relieve when I received message from my friend saying that I'm passed!

Well, u know the most scariest part in medicine that can cause severe palpitation & bilateral lower limb weakness is waiting for the result to come out. Risau kot..

Everytime when it comes to exam, its like..(long and short case especially)

"Ya Allah, aku ni tak belajar apa2 ke? ini aku tak tau. itu aku tak boleh jawap"

risau sangat-sangat...tapi bila result dah keluar, legaaaa.. That's medicine la kan. You learn best during the exam. Alhamdulillah I am now officially a 4th year medical student..(tua dah rupanya..) Congrats everyone! :)

p/s: now u gotta kick out za raya mode Ain..heh

Trust

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life in a clearer view again..

Don't miss the flower because it lost its bloom, rather look forward to the spring when its beauty shall return yet again..

and TRUST, because He has a wonderful plan in works for you that you can't yet see or feel..but soon you will..:')

Good things come to those who wait..after they have tried. TRUST, even if you have no idea how your situation could ever improve..yes TRUST! Everything will gets better with time..

Life isn't a box of chocolate

I do not know what's wrong with me..I don't know why I have been soooo super emotional lately..I don't know why..Honestly, I can just cry over the littlest dumbest things you could imagine like seriously..

Sometimes I feel like I don't want to study.. I don't want to do things and I don't feel like myself. I was thinking if I were not a medical student, I would have probably pursued for business.

Ahh..I really love business!  My passion for business became more and more when I started doing my online business. After 2 months being a full-time owner of online shop, I've experienced dealing with people from all over Malaysia until Brunei, Singapore..etc which was fun!

I want to own a company, being a nice boss, having nice dress, nice cars and a nice 5-figure income..But looking back my life here in medicine, I just have nothing.

So true..

But what do I have to do now?

I kept saying to my friends that I want to live my dreams. They laughed at me.hehe.maniac!

We will look and see in 30 years time.

Life is not a box of choc. Life will be so much easier if it were a straight road aite? Always know what's up next and know what to expect. But the road of life filled with all those bumps and an unexpected turns which we are not prepared for. And still whatever happened, in the end we will completely depend on Him.

My dad once said to me "Kalau hidup kita ni tak 'hidup', sama la macam mati". Hm. Couldn't agree more.

I know sometimes, what I really want is not a right things for me after all. Oh Allah..Grant me blessings in it and grant me blessings better than it.

Ok.Enough then before I keep on mumbling things that I'm not supposed to write. Daa!

 p/s: I need a booster. need some motivations.. nak balik..:'(

Me in Medical

Assalamualaikum..

Sekarang cukup 5 minggu aku di Medical posting

Banyak sgt benda yg aku belajar

But still byk jugak benda yang aku tak tahu

Semakin byk aku belajar, semakin byk aku tak tahu

Dgn kata lain semakin byk menuntut ilmu, semakin 'ngeng'

So lebih baik berhenti menuntut ilmu..(haha)

Tak2.Sebenarnya semakin byk aku belajar, rupanya baru aku tahu betapa ceteknya ilmu yg aku ada.. =,=

Banyak benda yang aku agak 'touching' sepanjang sepanjang Medical posting ni

Hari tu pergi tgok CAPD (Continuous Ambulatory Peritoneal Dialysis)

Patient yang pegi buat CAPD ni patient end stage renal failure

And most of it elder patient la kan

Tapi hari tu pegi klinik nephro, jumpa patient Putra Haikal

Mula-mula aku igt mak dia yg nak buat CAPD

Rupa2nya Haikal, 9 tahun, dah ada renal failure

So mak Haikal terpaksa buat CAPD utk anak dia 5kali sehari!

Ya Allah..bayangkan 5 kali sehari buat peritoneal dialysis

Tok Ma aku buat hemodialysis selang sehari pun dah cukup kesian aku tengok

Ya Allah..aku tak tahu lah. Memang kuat sungguh hati ibu gigih menjaga anak

Dalam wad pulak, aku rasa terharu tgok patient ni bersolat atas katil, 
Pakcik Ghalim namanya

Ini 1st time aku tgok patient solat

Lepas dia solat tu aku tegur lah dia

Baik betul lah pakcik niiiiiiiiiiiiii..

Sangat2 lah fatherly..

Ya Allah kurniakan dia kesihatan yang baik Ya Allah..

Ada sorang patient lagi akak Selmah

Akak ni suddenly dpt hemorrhagic stroke attack

Tak boleh berjalan, bercakap pun agak susah

Aku baca report dia. Akak Selmah ni baru letak under psychiatric

Since dia dapat stroke ni dia mengalami depression yang amat sangat sbb tak dpt berjalan and bercakap properly mcm dulu

Tak boleh bekerja, lonely, and family member tak rapat dengan dia..

Ya Allah..kesiannya..kalau menyelami kehidupan setiap patient ni aku rasa aku banjir dah

Bila aku entertain kak Selmah, aku dapat rasa keikhlasan dia

Bagi aku makanan, siap bagi fon number and address lagi suruh visit dia (huhu)

InshaAllah ada kebaikan sedang menanti untuk dirimu kak Selmah..

So far, dalam Medical posting ni, aku dapat rasa Medical bukan lah taste aku (hehe)

Tapi in terms of medical knowledge, byk benda aku belajar dlm posting ni

And banyak benda tentang life juga yang aku dpt ambil iktibar (posting lain pun sama)

Just sometimes, aku terfikir, am I able to be a good doctor?or at least a 'safe' doctor?

Aku takut..Ya Allah..Bantulah aku..permudahkan lah..

-"Allah tak marah kalau kita tak pandai, tapi Allah marah kalau kita tak pergi belajar"- UAI

Betul tu Ustaz Azhar! Moga kata2 Ustaz sentiasa terngiang dlm telinga ni.huhu..

Be thankful :)

Angkatlah tanganmu yang kosong itu,

Hatta ia kotor mahupun kudung,

Berdoalah..Berdoalah kerana Allah mendengar setiap cicit ayat yang keluar dari mulut hambaNya yang berdoa..

Yakinlah..

Allah tak pernah silap meletakkan seseorang di sesuatu tempat..

Allah tak pernah silap. Kan? <3

 

Be thankful, grateful and learn to appreciate..:)

Sedang Apa~

Hidup jangan mengungkit..Apatah lagi dia sudah berubah..

Kalau Allah ungkit dosa-dosa kita hinalah kita..

Let bygone be bygone..

Manusia boleh bertaubat..

Takutlah dosa diri sendiri daripada membuka aib orang lain..

Muhasabah diri..

Jangan sebab kita, ada insan yang menangis terluka..

Entah-entah orang yang kita sakiti jiwanya itu adalah kekasih Allah..

Time after time

Assalamualaikum

I'm soO relieved after done my seminar and long case presentation eventhough I know I wasn't done it very well. Hope I'll be more systematic after this. And I think I really need to learn how to hide the panic too. Huhu..Surgery is tough and takes a lot of patience. But still every posting comes with different challenges la kan, gotta live with that. Sometimes I dunno what I learned for the past 7 weeks. Despite so much exposure, I'm still very slow-ow-ow...(-_-)

 "Monkey teaches monkey. This is not a monkey bussiness u know!" (ayat siapa ni..=P)
 

 It would be much pleasure if I were called as Corelle mangkuk ke..Vantage ke..(hehe..nak sangat ke Syafiqah?)

Aside from my negativity in Surgery(eheh), I've also been busy joining several activities. Last week I was in charge in donation for Aqsa Sharif booth at Megamall Kuantan. Thus, need to go around the mall and asked for the donations.huhu..May Allah save Palestina!

 Together with Sheena, Maya, Mira n Me..You know what?When you are asking for donation, you will feel like...'Rejections are normal'

with Catriona Ross. Such a very lovely and soft spoken women :) She was invited to be one of the panel for a Forum held there..

Okay.That's all.Got to go! nak packing barang for program at Tasik Chini.weehuu..Will continue update about Chini soon.. InshaAllah..daa! :)

All you need is...

نعم لا بد من حب لتملاء كوننا الأنوار

Dr. Yusof al-Qardhawi berkata:

 “Cinta akan mencari manusia. Tetapi manusia jangan mencari cinta.”

"Dengan gemerlap dan bersinarnya hati, maka lahirlah kebaikan...

Dengan gelapnya hati,maka lahirlah kejahatan...

Apabila manusia telah mengenali hatinya maka dia akan kenal dirinya,

maka akan mengenal Tuhannya..."

(Imam Al-Ghazali)

  p/s: moga 'cinta' itu membangkitkan kita :)

 

Let it go with smile

We love ourselves even after making so many mistakes.

Then how can we hate others for only their small mistakes? 

Strange but true! So let's make habit of FORGIVING!

Do inhale ♥ ; exhale hate ^_^

19 JamadilAwwal 1433

Bismillah..Assalamualaikum

How time flies so fast. I am now almost at the 7th week of my surgical posting and still so many things I haven't finish read yet. Everytime when  I go to hospital, every single day, my legs are kind of wobbly from standing too long during ward rounds, joining clinics and during OT....like jelly hehehhh. Balik bilik je merangkak cari katil.haha.ok tipu. So tell me where's exactly the time to finish all those surgical books Dr?alasan Syafiqah alasan~

Medicine aside. Actually my birthday is today according to Islamic Calendar.19 JamadilAwwal. Hip.Hip.Ho0rayy! (hee..ada orang bagi hadiah la :P) Bless me Ya Allah..Bless me! Bless me! One thing I can't help to think of on my birthday is how much I want to thank to my Mother for giving me birth on that date. Terima kasih yang teramat Mak..=')

Well, my mum wasn’t a world leader or a famous doctor.She was neither business tycoon nor any social figure. But she was one of the greatest woman who had ever lived and 5^th January 2006 was my first day without her. On that day, I didn’t know what to do with myself..also worried towards my younger bros and sisters..I’m worried if they not have the chance to feel love and being loved by a ‘Mother’ anymore like I feel..(Thanks alot Mama for your willingness to accept and taking care all 8 of us!)

Alhamdulillah..I am thankful that Allah let me have my mum for 17 years. And before He taking her, I am happy that I was given a chance to hug and kiss her, also to let her know, how much I loved her. Until now, there is no word I can express to show how much I missed her.The last time I saw her was in the mosque(jenazah prayer) just after I arrived from the Langkawi..Only He knows how I felt during that moment. I will not be able to see her anymore and from now on got to bear such a huge responsibility to help and support my dad especially.

That wonderful woman died with a smile on her face and fulfillment in her heart. She was a great & success as a wife, mother, daughter, sister and biology teacher..and she was my MuM... Al-Fatihah.

 Semoga Allah sayang Mak lebih daripada Angah sayangkan Mak..<3

L.I.F.E

"Don't get disappointed whenever you fall. Because, only fallen leaves have the power to touch great heights when wind blows :)"

 

Kelmarin, Tuhan telah membantumu. Percayalah esok Dia masih akan tetap menolongmu. Bersangka baiklah kepada Allah.
-Imam as-Syafi'e ♥

Be Better

When someone corrects you, do not feel bad or embarrased. Sometimes that is just a way Allah wants to reminds you how to be better :)

Dear Heart

Saat Allah mencintai seseorang tempat pertama yang disentuhNya adalah HATI.

Disitulah Allah melenyapkan segala rasa putus asa dan kesedihan akibat dosa mereka kemudian digantikan dengan harapan dan keinginan untuk berubah menjadi insan yang bersih. Hati kita seolah2 berbisik... 

“Aku tahu bila Allah mencintaiku iaitu saat aku membenci segala kejahatanku” Ya Allah..Jauhkanlah aku dari kelekaan dan kealpaan sehingga terlupa menyebut namaMu..

Goodbye Paediatrics & Welcome Surgery..

Assalamualaikum

My Paeds posting results had just released. Alhamdulillah Ya Allah..:') I'm passed. Alhamdulillah3x. Alhamdulillah for all the GOOD and BAD that I've been through this posting..Thank you Allah..eventhough I know I'm not perform that well.hu.

"If Allah should aid you. no one can overcome you; But if He should forsake you, who is there can aid you after Him? And upon Allah let the believers rely" (Quran 3:160)

Alhamdulillah for Allah has given me, Astaghfirullah for all that I've taken for granted and InshaAllah for all the hopes I have of things to come..I'm now heading towards Surgery. Sayonara Paediatrics~

 

Missing them..:')When we come to Paediatric ward, we love to play with the children. And sometimes the amount of time spent on clerking was lesser compared to building rapport with the child.hee.

Once the child was attached to you, its hard to stop playing.Really..Buhbye kids..tssk

Proud moment over.

Currently, I'm having my Surgery posting which is totally a new world and new environment for me. From the stories that I got through the seniors and previous group, Surgery=Secaryy..(I dunno why I've got the same feeling when I first enter my O&G posting.huu.)

But somehow, I feel like surgery is kind of interesting. While the doctors from other department are just called as Dr. or Prof. but in Surgery, regardless what title or position they hold (except for the Dato' one.ehek), the surgeons are all addressed as Mr. @ Mrs. or Ms. Hm.I wonder why..

Nah.Here the 5 things that we need to cover within this week:

1. Abdominal Examination
2. Head and neck examination
3. Breast examination
4. Lower limbs and vascular examination
5. Lumps and bumps examination

So many things need to revise back especially the Anatomy. Lupaa..hu. Till then, pray for me!

p/s: Increase me in knowledge Ya Allah..

Keep on Praying

Hidup tak selalunya lawa. Tak selalunya ada pelangi. Kalau nak bed of roses pun, duri-durinya tetap ada. Kadang-kadang calamity itu datang dan waktu tu rasa macam kena gelek dengan ahli sumo dah. Rasa tak mampu nak bangkit.

Tapi walau apa pun yang jadi, ingat apa yang Dia selalu pesan..Allah tidak akan bebankan hambaNya dengan apa yang hambaNya tidak mampu. Dia juga tak pernah menjanjikan hidup ini mudah, tapi Dia berjanji akan sentiasa berada disisi kita disaat kita susah.

Kalau kita ada terrible day, feeling down, feeling like can't see the way out, turn to Him. Ask Him. Never stop asking. Bayangkan if the kindness of a person will make us cry, inikan pula the Kindness of Allah..:')

"Dan didapatiNya engkau mencari-cari (jalan yang benar), lalu Ia memberikan petunjuk"(Ad-Dhuha: 7)

 Make Du'a to Him. He is always with the needy..

Doa dari hati, bukan sekadar di bibir. Tanpa berdoa pun sebenarnya Allah tahu apa kemahuan kita, cuma, Doa yang dipohon itu adalah untuk menunjukkan pengabdian dan penyerahan diri kita yang hina dan dina kepadaNya..

 

Doesn't matter cepat atau lambat doa itu dimakbulkan..Yang penting berdoa. Allah menilai kesungguhan kita berdoa dan mengharap padaNya. Dia menilai sejauh mana kebergantungan kita terhadapNya. Dahulukan berdoa, kemudian berserah. Terpulang pada Allah sama ada ingin memakbulkan doa itu dengan cepat atau tidak. Teruskan berdoa. Dia mendengar..Dia sentiasa bersama hambaNYa yang memerlukan..(huhu.reminding myself too)

p/s: Dear Allah. I pray that whoever reads this message shall have Your comfort, joy, peace, love, & guidance. I may not know their troubles, but You do. Please keep protecting us.

Ameen:)

Change

Berubah memang bukan mudah
Allah akan terus menguji keikhlasanmu
Dan pada masa itu, kau punya dua pilihan
Take it, or leave it

Ingat, Allah tak perlukan kau
Kekuasaan Allah takkan kurang sedikit pun kalau kau putus asa
Kau yang perlukan Allah
Jangan takut untuk bermula dari bawah
Kerana yang berada di atas belum tentu tidak akan jatuh

Dan dalam pendakianmu
Jangan pernah berhenti berdoa kepadaNya
Agar Dia kuatkan hatimu
Walau apapun dugaan yang Dia berikan
Jangan pernah merasakan dirimu cukup
Kerana banyak lagi yang Dia mahu berikan

Tapi andainya kau sudah merasa cukup,
Maka segalanya telah berakhir buatmu..

 Ya Allah, Tuhan yang membolak-balikkan hati, teguhkanlah hatiku pada agama-Mu dan jagalah perasaan ini agar tidak melampaui batasnya..

Sollu 'ala nabi..

Ummul Mukminin A’ishah menceritakan,

“Suatu hari, tatkala aku melihat Rasulullah saw dalam mood yang baik, aku berkata kepadanya,

“Ya Rasulullah, mohonlah doa kepada Allah untukku!”

Maka baginda saw pun berdoa,

“Ya Allah, ampunkanlah A’ishah, dosa-dosanya yang lalu, dosa-dosanya yang akan datang, apa-apa yang dia sembunyikan, dan apa-apa yang dia zahirkan.”

Aku pun tersenyum girang, hingga kurasakan kepalaku hampir jatuh ke ribaku dek kerana kegembiraan itu. Berkata Rasulullah kepadaku,

“Sukakah engkau akan doaku itu?” Aku menjawab,

“Tentu, bagaimana mungkin doamu itu tidak membuatkan aku gembira!”

Sabda baginda saw, “Demi Allah, itulah doa yang aku mohon kepada Allah untuk ummatku pada setiap solatku”

SubhanAllah...:'( Dalamnya cinta Nabi pada umatnya..