*I'm taken :P* The Engagement :)

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..
Assalamualaikum wbt..

I thought that I could update it earlier but since few days ago I ni malas sangat (hehe) and got few things that need to be settled first, so terpaksa la hold dulu tulis entry ni. 

23hb December 2012 was the day I am destined to be engaged with him. How time flies so fast. Even me myself feel kinda hard to believe that I am now already 'caught' :P But Alhamdulillah..after much discussions, tears, disputes, lectures, etc. it's finally happened..Thank you Allah :')

So, here are the moments..

Alhamdulillah :) Everything went smoothly. I'm officially engaged.. hee.. so HAPPY!  don't know how to describe my feeling right now. hehe..only people who has been through this step will feel this feeling. We are now one step closer. Only one more step to tie the knot In shaa Allah..We pray to Allah to make us strong to face all the things together, so that we can make it until the end of our life. Ameen :) May Allah swt bless our journey..

p/s: Rasulullah menjelaskan di dalam hadithnya yang bermaksudkan: "Sekiranya kamu mempunyai anak-anak perempuan yang sudah remaja, lalu datang seseorang yang datang meminang, jika kamu dapati laki-laki yang masuk meminang itu baik akhlaknya, agamanya dan sebagainya, maka segeralah kamu menikahkannya."

Drowning?

Assalamualaikum

It's been a long time I haven't wrote my blog properly. If update pun, an effortless entry je.hue3..(*macam la ada orang nak baca). Well, I don't plan to update pun, but entahlah tiba2 sign in and here I am..hmm.too many things to be shared. So how should I start?

"If you are facing BIG tests in your life, it just means you will have a BIG destiny"

I really love to think and talk about the future. I have planned so many thing things to do in my life.Yeah.ada some of them yang macam impossible je pulak but I put TRUST on Him. When Allah wants something to happen, it will happen.No matter what.No matter where.No matter when.No matter in any situation you are.

Being a grown up teenager, too many things I have learn from my experience and from the people surround me. And thru them, I learn all the do's and dont's..Melalui orang2 yang soleh solehah yang Allah 'hadirkan' dalam hidup ni, I learn to be His servant. Melalui orang2 yang 'kurang baik', I learn to not to do what He has forbidden. 

But sometimes, there was a moment when I feel like down and frustrated yang kalau orang psycho sikit je dah mula dah keluar air mencurah-curah ke ladang gandum. The moment bila call dengar suara abah mama je pun dah boleh menangis keluar hingus tak hengat dunia. The moment when I really wanna talk and share with somebody but I have nobody to talk to and to rely on. yeah.that awful moment.

However, through those tough moment lah I learn how to build up my strength and that's what we call as life. Nak taknak, we have to go through some sad and sorrow moment. Happy all the time tu tak challenge lah kan. Monotonous je dull and boringg you know..hehe

In my humble opinion, sometimes, to be in a not-so-okay mood is better sebab waktu itu lah kita akan rasa kita rapat dengan Dia. You will start buat tahajud, dhuha, rajin baca Quran bla bla. Time tu even baca Bismillah or sebut Allahuakbar je pun, dah mula mata berkaca..tekak tersedu2..kenapa?sebab time itu lah kita rasa betapa kecil and kerdil nya diri kita. Yang sangat lemah dan tak punya apa-apa. Yang memang tanpa rahmat dan kasih sayang Allah, kita rasa tak tentu arah.

And through all those challenges we will learn to build our strength and soul. Bila kita berpura-pura menjadi kuat takde siapa nampak air mata kita yang tersembunyi melainkan Allah. Menyenangkan hati manusia itu susah tapi menyenangkan Allah itu adalah paling mudah. Manusia mungkin menghukum kesalahan yang kita lakukan, tetapi Allah tak pernah mengabaikan dan siap mengampunkan lagi kesalahan kita. 

Allah's love is everywhere..Can you feel that? How sweeet :')

Life is a bless.simple words but yet huge meaning hidden behind it. It will not forever filled with joyful and happiness. Thus, if you feel like 'drowning', keep ur head up and keep ur heart strong. Have 300% faith in Him..

A story from Sheikh Navaid Aziz :)

Syeikh Navaid Aziz told a story, there was a man. He is from Africa, a muslim. It took years and years for him to get married because of racism and stuff. He finally got married to someone he really loves and she is about to deliver their first child.....

Then, Allah took the life of his wife and the baby.

It was unimaginable and unthinkable to even think how he was feeling during that moment, but guess what? A wife and child is a test from Allah. Allah can take it anytime He wants.

Allah wants to make sure that he is not loving his wife and his child more than loving Allah himself. This is a litmus test for everyone who wants to get married. 

Then ask ourselves, do we want to get married for the sake of ourselves (with the main goal of satisfying desire) or do we want to get married so that we can become closer to Allah and love Allah more?

Some people Allah make them get married early, some people Allah make them get married late or single forever. It does not matter what the situation is as long as the marriage should be able to boost your performance of ibadat and servitude to Allah not deteriorating it. Only Allah knows best..

The happiest moment is. . .

is when u finally end up ur 3rd year with smileee :)

It's really a big relieve when I received message from my friend saying that I'm passed!

Well, u know the most scariest part in medicine that can cause severe palpitation & bilateral lower limb weakness is waiting for the result to come out. Risau kot..

Everytime when it comes to exam, its like..(long and short case especially)

"Ya Allah, aku ni tak belajar apa2 ke? ini aku tak tau. itu aku tak boleh jawap"

risau sangat-sangat...tapi bila result dah keluar, legaaaa.. That's medicine la kan. You learn best during the exam. Alhamdulillah I am now officially a 4th year medical student..(tua dah rupanya..) Congrats everyone! :)

p/s: now u gotta kick out za raya mode Ain..heh

Trust

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life in a clearer view again..

Don't miss the flower because it lost its bloom, rather look forward to the spring when its beauty shall return yet again..

and TRUST, because He has a wonderful plan in works for you that you can't yet see or feel..but soon you will..:')

Good things come to those who wait..after they have tried. TRUST, even if you have no idea how your situation could ever improve..yes TRUST! Everything will gets better with time..

Life isn't a box of chocolate

I do not know what's wrong with me..I don't know why I have been soooo super emotional lately..I don't know why..Honestly, I can just cry over the littlest dumbest things you could imagine like seriously..

Sometimes I feel like I don't want to study.. I don't want to do things and I don't feel like myself. I was thinking if I were not a medical student, I would have probably pursued for business.

Ahh..I really love business!  My passion for business became more and more when I started doing my online business. After 2 months being a full-time owner of online shop, I've experienced dealing with people from all over Malaysia until Brunei, Singapore..etc which was fun!

I want to own a company, being a nice boss, having nice dress, nice cars and a nice 5-figure income..But looking back my life here in medicine, I just have nothing.

So true..

But what do I have to do now?

I kept saying to my friends that I want to live my dreams. They laughed at me.hehe.maniac!

We will look and see in 30 years time.

Life is not a box of choc. Life will be so much easier if it were a straight road aite? Always know what's up next and know what to expect. But the road of life filled with all those bumps and an unexpected turns which we are not prepared for. And still whatever happened, in the end we will completely depend on Him.

My dad once said to me "Kalau hidup kita ni tak 'hidup', sama la macam mati". Hm. Couldn't agree more.

I know sometimes, what I really want is not a right things for me after all. Oh Allah..Grant me blessings in it and grant me blessings better than it.

Ok.Enough then before I keep on mumbling things that I'm not supposed to write. Daa!

 p/s: I need a booster. need some motivations.. nak balik..:'(

Me in Medical

Assalamualaikum..

Sekarang cukup 5 minggu aku di Medical posting

Banyak sgt benda yg aku belajar

But still byk jugak benda yang aku tak tahu

Semakin byk aku belajar, semakin byk aku tak tahu

Dgn kata lain semakin byk menuntut ilmu, semakin 'ngeng'

So lebih baik berhenti menuntut ilmu..(haha)

Tak2.Sebenarnya semakin byk aku belajar, rupanya baru aku tahu betapa ceteknya ilmu yg aku ada.. =,=

Banyak benda yang aku agak 'touching' sepanjang sepanjang Medical posting ni

Hari tu pergi tgok CAPD (Continuous Ambulatory Peritoneal Dialysis)

Patient yang pegi buat CAPD ni patient end stage renal failure

And most of it elder patient la kan

Tapi hari tu pegi klinik nephro, jumpa patient Putra Haikal

Mula-mula aku igt mak dia yg nak buat CAPD

Rupa2nya Haikal, 9 tahun, dah ada renal failure

So mak Haikal terpaksa buat CAPD utk anak dia 5kali sehari!

Ya Allah..bayangkan 5 kali sehari buat peritoneal dialysis

Tok Ma aku buat hemodialysis selang sehari pun dah cukup kesian aku tengok

Ya Allah..aku tak tahu lah. Memang kuat sungguh hati ibu gigih menjaga anak

Dalam wad pulak, aku rasa terharu tgok patient ni bersolat atas katil, 
Pakcik Ghalim namanya

Ini 1st time aku tgok patient solat

Lepas dia solat tu aku tegur lah dia

Baik betul lah pakcik niiiiiiiiiiiiii..

Sangat2 lah fatherly..

Ya Allah kurniakan dia kesihatan yang baik Ya Allah..

Ada sorang patient lagi akak Selmah

Akak ni suddenly dpt hemorrhagic stroke attack

Tak boleh berjalan, bercakap pun agak susah

Aku baca report dia. Akak Selmah ni baru letak under psychiatric

Since dia dapat stroke ni dia mengalami depression yang amat sangat sbb tak dpt berjalan and bercakap properly mcm dulu

Tak boleh bekerja, lonely, and family member tak rapat dengan dia..

Ya Allah..kesiannya..kalau menyelami kehidupan setiap patient ni aku rasa aku banjir dah

Bila aku entertain kak Selmah, aku dapat rasa keikhlasan dia

Bagi aku makanan, siap bagi fon number and address lagi suruh visit dia (huhu)

InshaAllah ada kebaikan sedang menanti untuk dirimu kak Selmah..

So far, dalam Medical posting ni, aku dapat rasa Medical bukan lah taste aku (hehe)

Tapi in terms of medical knowledge, byk benda aku belajar dlm posting ni

And banyak benda tentang life juga yang aku dpt ambil iktibar (posting lain pun sama)

Just sometimes, aku terfikir, am I able to be a good doctor?or at least a 'safe' doctor?

Aku takut..Ya Allah..Bantulah aku..permudahkan lah..

-"Allah tak marah kalau kita tak pandai, tapi Allah marah kalau kita tak pergi belajar"- UAI

Betul tu Ustaz Azhar! Moga kata2 Ustaz sentiasa terngiang dlm telinga ni.huhu..